dunno y but my guts tells me dat history is gonna repeat itself again...i realli dont mean to doubt u but dat is wat my heart told me...aniwae im prepared if its realli gonna happen again...but jus wanna let u noe dat there wont be a 2nd chance after dat.dis time i realli mean it.

today jus suck big time...had a realli high fever since yesterday nite.can barely sleep cos im like having nightmare everi 1 hour...my temperature was like 38.9 degrees...damn...slept wif my mum...she was practically up all nite cos she said i was like mumbling tings to myself the whole nite...oh dear...im sooooo sorry mum.mum said she'll take me to the clinic in the morning but i jus cant wait till morning...in the end at around 6+ i told her dat i wanna go to the hospital...i cant take it animore...i can hardly walk so mum pushed me on the wheelchair...luckily i wasnt admitted in...i realli hate being admitted into the wards...it realli sucks....oh yeahh i didnt attend skool today cos of my condition...

didi called in the morning to check my condition but i was asleep wen he called...so mum told him dat i went to the hospital and all...i woke up at around 12 noon.den called him.he was asleep!!!meaning he didnt go to werk...OMG!realli feel like killing him...dgr2 i sick he also sick lah...idiot!hmmm...so yeahh...now im resting at home..my body is very weak...i can hardly walk to the toilet...haiz...

damn it sia...im sick...down wif fever,blocked nose and sore throat...OMG!cant aniting get any worst den dis...and the best ting is i have an accounting test to sit for...of all days in dis month why must it be 2day sia...i've taken 2 panadol extra about an hour ago hoping dat i'll recover by 2morrow morning at least...i cant absent myself 2morrow!school ends at 12 sia...early ryte...by hook or by crook i have to drag myself to school 2morrow...my body is realli realli aching ryte now...

i dunno wether im going out 2morrow cos he still havent called...i realli dunno how im gonna face him if im meeting him 2morrow...aniwae...i saw nizam at bdk jus now...and he put on weight...hahaha...but he's still short lah...he didnt see me though...but its ok i guess...

well i'm taking back all my werds on wat i've written in the previous entry...simply bcos i figured out wat a phucking bastard u are after all...my feelings was ryte after all...u ARE cheating on me...and wat makes it WORST is dat its not onli 1 gerl...there's MORE DEN 1 GIRL IS INVOLVE IN DIS STUPID GAME UR PLAYING...damn u!

well i have to congratulate u cos watever u've done is realli beyond wat i can take...u've manage to break me down,into uncountable pieces...CONGRATULATION!ur game was a good one i shud say...but trust me...i believe someday ur gonna get a taste of wat ur doing to me...i hope its worst den dis...cos i believe in retribution...its proven...i've seen it myself ...jus dun be too happy wif wat u have ryte now...dats all i can tell u.coa u'll never noe wen's ur turn to go down...

i jus hate it wen i have noting to do...cos it makes me tink of u...u have no idea jus how much im missing u ryte now do u?yes im letting my ego to take over me...cos i guess dats the best i can do ryte now...i jus cant afford to tink bout u always...i have to throw my feelings away...its more difficult den i tot its gonna be...if there's one ting i wanna do ryte now it wud be to be wif u...realli miss those times 2gether...miss laughing to ur jokes,admiring ur smile...haiz...i jus dunno why it have to end up dis way...i realli dun understand...as much as i want to end everiting once and for all,there's jus too many tings i have to consider.there's jus too many tings dat had happened dat makes it impossible for me to give up everiting...why arent u seeing tings the way i did???well mayb dis is jus a test for me...i believe dat all dis tings will be over soon and we'll end up happy in the end...jus hope dat i'll see the rainbow at the end of dis rocky n long road...)=

Skools realli tiring and the schedule is kind of hectic too...but on the positive side i've a bunch of frens who never fail to make my day.mayb dats wat dats been keeping me going on everi day...each day is filled wif jokes and luffter...hahaha...thanks ppl...

was werking jus now and i swear i had to drag myself to werk...had a quick nap after skool bfore going to werk and my eyes can barely open.its realli exhausting but i've got no choice.oh SHIT!!!i jus remembered dat im having accounting test 2morrow...abd i havent studied for it yet...nvm...will study on my way to skool 2morrow...

finally got to see ace n farhan today in skool...was realli glad to see them...dunno why...hahahah...oh yeahh saw ah leng also...he was practically staring at me lah as i walk pass him...i swear he looks like a father of 5 alreadi wif his stomach bulging like dat...padahal last time he was fit i have to say...hahahah...it was nice seeing him after such a looooong time...

guess dats all i have for ryte now...

i've always been keeping tings to myself...u noe dat dun u...in fact u noe me very well wat im like...u noe even wen im angry i will jus keep my bloody mouth shut.like a stupid dumbass!i tink dats why ur fooling around ryte???u tink im soooo stupid and i wont noe wat ur doing behind my back...FYI...im not dat stupid ok!i noe wats going on...well why wud u lie to me???wen u can jus tell me the truth...and u noe i wont get mad at u wat...ur jus making tings worst by lying to me cos ur story realli doesnt make sense at all...and u noe wat???i've come to realise someting and it kind of hit me realli hard in the face...i realise dat i've never meant aniting to u all dis while...im jus some1 who u'll turn to wen ur lonely n bored...dats all!and bullshit to all ur promises ok...dun come and tell me u LOVE ME wen u dont....realli...i realli dun need ur sympathy...i'll get over wif it...jus leave me alone like how u used to leave me...im fine wif it...like i used to say...its expected if one day ur leaving me again...

call off!

was suppose to be out wif my colleagues 2day...we planned to go to sentosa have picnic and stuff...but i back off last minute...cos mum is not feeling well and she's alone at home....i dont wan aniting to happen to her...and moreover sentosa isnt near to my house...so yeah...im realli realli SORRY!!!i'll make it up to the both of u alryte...

havent finished my assingment though...planning to finish it in the evening...skool starts at 8 2morrow...haiz..have to wake up very early lah seh...cos 2morrow its my turn to fetch shima...skool ends at 4...haiz...im sure its gonna be a tiring day cos 2morrow got sports n wellness....damn!

exhaustion!

skul's realli draining my energy ryte now...im feeling soooo exhausted dat i cant help from falling asleep once i reached home everiday...bad huh???haiz...but den to tink again,its great being in skool again...well i've got a bunch of great frens who never fail to make my day...i've got classmates dats fun to be with...basically to summarise it all i love being in skul...hahahah...the teachers are great too...in fact better den those i've had back in sec skul...seriously...

well nik's keeping quiet again and im actualli thankful dat skul has started cos it takes my mind off from tinking bout him everi now and den...im jus too tired to tink about aniting ryte now...all im concern about ryte now is getting enuff sleep everiday so dat i can wake up feeling fresh n energetic evriday...its kinda hard though cos im used to sleeping at the wee hours but im sure i'll get over it in no time...jus a couple of wks more and i guess i'll do jus fine...

im meeting sheena 2morrow...b4 werk i guess...damn!do i still need to werk???i barely have energy to do aniting else after skool sia...so yeah...at least skool ends at 12...well gtg...need to get some sleep...

first day of skool!

well yeah...today's the first day of skool...had a difficult time sleeping last nite...turn in at 12 but i was awaken by the sound from my hp at 0315...hahaha...after dat i couldnt sleep until 0530...haiz...was realli exhausted...skool was FUN!the best part is dat im in the same class as dahima lah seh...hahahboth of us was soooo damn happy...its kind of unbelievable also lah...basically skool ends at 1530...made my way home wif shima...thanks for walking wif me DARLING!LOVE U SOOOOO MUCH...HAHAHA...

weekends was kind of boring actualli...wasnt up to aniting...jus slacking at home...and yeahh did fight wif him again but dis time is kind of interesting cos i made him cry....HAHAHAHAHA...i felt realli bad seh but den again its kind of fun...hahahah...didnt expect him to cry though...i guess i've been fighting wif him almost everi wk...lol...

i hate myself

jus came back from 'simpang'...was hanging out wif the usual peeps fro dinner...at least tahirah was there...hahaha...tot of not going but change my mind later...and the best part was tahirah paid for everiting...hahahaha...thanks taik!for some reason taik have to go off early so i decided to go wif her...walk wif her till tanah merah den took bus home from there...im like realli realli full ah...hehehehe...almost bloated...

well yesterday was stock take...finished around 12...which was very early...but went to accompany siti home to take the food cos her mum was cooking for us...the food was very very delicious...seriously...hahahah...realli laughed alot yesterday...joking around wiff my colleagues can realli realli drive me insane...hahahaha...its fun werking wif dis bunch of crazy ppl...they realli make my day...

im a very revengeful person...if u still dunno...but for those who noe me realli well they'll noe dat wen i take revenge i wont be nice...jus dun make me hate u cos i wont be very nice...jus keep telling urself dat if u can do it to me...so do i...i'll do twice as wat u did to me...sometimes wen i tink back...being a bitch is better...cos being a nice person,often times ppl will take advantage of u...and it sucks to be in dat position...TRUST ME!
YES I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING TOO NICE TO OTHER PPL...

WERK REALLI SUCKS TO THE CORE!!!

i cant believe dat the actualli ask me to do closing alone yesterday....yes!!!ALONE!!!

kanina lah they all...

its like so boring werking alone and there wasnt much customer either which is making tings worst...

PLUS its raining heavily the whole evening...

and tomorrow is gonna be stock take...

means i have to go home late...

im like so exhausted and i havent prepared my stuff for skool...

skirt blum alter lagi...ARGH!!!

damn it sia...

why must evriting get soooooo messed up ryte now???

haiz...

'i love u eternity'

well dats wat u told me...

but i didnt noe dat ur eternity means onli for a while

cos i tot eternity means forever.

'promise u wont leave me'

but ryte now ur drifting far away from me...

tried to hold on to u

but u jus wont let me.

'i wanna go far wif u'

looking at tings are now...

how far can we go???

'im realli yearning to meet u'

are u even putting any effort at all to make it happen?

cos i felt dat all dis while its been me and only me...

u doesnt seem to care at all...

im getting tired of the way tings are...

ur not doing aniting to make tings better

u dont seem to appreciate me

and now i sse more reasons for me to leave u.

as much as i want to hold on to dis

but its jus causing me too much pain...

tings are areadi starting to fall apart

i guess its time for me to let go....

sooooo boring!

well hello to all!its been a very booooring dis few days....i swear i can die of boredom....im not werking and im not going out either...boring ryte...haiz...

did make pans but call it off last minute cos im jus too exhausted to get out from the house...

got a very shocking news recently...ain is gonna be transfer to another store...WTH!den another person from BMP will come to replace her...like shit sia...i realli hate newcomers lah...i mean not hate the person...its like we have to get to noe them and start bonding wif them...its jus awkward ah...haiz...gonna miss ain though...hahahaha...miss her cine wayang make up...LOL!so bad of me...hahahah...gonna have dinner wif her n siti 2day...i dunno wats the sudden plan...hahahah...jus hope it will turn out well ya!

nik did msg dat day...ask me out but unfortunately i was alreadi out wif shima...he told me last minute dat he took off dat day cos he wanna meet...i dunno wat was he tinking also...he cud've called me the nite b4 ryte...den wen i told him i was outside he was like 'oh its ok...u enjoy aite!dun wanna disturb u...'

idiot!den i told him if he wanna meet i still can make it cos im jus helping out the girls for speech day...i'll be able to meet him somewhere if he wan to...den he said he wanted to go to the usual place but he's broke...i jus dun understand lah why he always wanna go there...its not as if dat there's no other place dat we cud go instead of going there...well i swear i realli hate dat place...den he was expecting me to pay for it first...like WTH!den i told him off by saying dat if he was broke he shudnt have asked me out and im also broke...den he kept quiet....AS USUAL!

GOTTA GO!

credits to tahirah!

well went to simpang wif the usual peeps...haiqal,farhan,me n supposingly tahirah...wat do imean by dat is tahirah is suppose to join us after werk...so while waiting for her we ordered our drinks first...so we wait...talking among ourselves...while waiting for her to call us...so she finally call us at about 10+ i tink...by den i have the feeling dat she's gonna cancel it...but den she said she havent decide yet...i dunno wat makes her so difficult to make up her mind...by den i was alreadi pissed off...by the time she finish werk its alreadi like 2330...den she finally said dat she's not coming...god knows how angry i was dat time...if i can explode i tink i wud have explode there...we waited for 1 hr plus...OMG!!!!



dat one nvm...so we ordered our food...den shamir came to our table...i was trying to let the matter rest...but den shamir being shamir kept talking bout tahirah...
he kept repeating the sentence "rabak seh tahirah lupe kawan..."i swear he's realli getting on my nerve seh...nasib baik ramai org...kalau tak i tink i would have sgouted at him to keep his mouth shut...it doesnt stop there...he still repeat the same old ting inside the cab...we shared cab since we all are going to the same route...lucky i was the first one to get off from the cab if not...i tink i wud have heart attack listening to him repeating his stupid line...THANKS TAIK!!!U REALLI MAKE MY DAY!

idiots!

i jus dun understand why people realli fancy pissing me off wif their stupid nonsense...jus bcos i always toerate doesnt mean i enjoy being treated like a fool lah...

if ur wondering wats pissing me off its bcos there's dis 2 idiot who is giving me nonsense...one is didi n another one is nik...

so i fought wif did yesterday bcos of his fcuking big mouth...he was talking bout dis stupid ting dat i dun find interesting to talk about...so i jus kept quiet whie he go on n on blabbering bout dat ting...den he got angry n start calling me binatang(animal)i was like...WTH!!!im so pissed off so i jus hung up the phone...den he msg me saying if im not gonna call him in 5 min time he gonna get out of my life...so i replied him saying he's most welcome to get lost!!!den he start saying sorry n all dat shit...i jus ignored all his sms n reject his call...bloody idiot...

den today receive a msg from nik asking me out...but i was in skool to do some stuff...den i ask him where he wanna meet...he replied saying its oko lah he's broke...idiotic ryte...sometimes i wonder why the hell he even bother to ask me out if he noe in the first place he's broke...and i tot we seriously broke up alreadi...he tink all dis some kind of a joke or wat???i wonder why do i even get involve wif dis kind of losers in my life...and if he's trying to make up for wat he had done den i seriously tink dat its not gonna work out...im jus too tired to entertain his nonsense lah...i've had enuff...i wanna call it off for good...

lets start a fresh one

well im sooooo sorry dat i have to delete my frenster blog again dat time...
dats why i decided to make a new blog here...well i hope dis one will last aite...
hahahah...well...let me update a few tings dat has been happening to me lately...


First and foremost im sad to say dat im no longer together wif NIK...dun ask why cos i dun wish to elaborate on it also...well i guess its bound to happen lah...its not as if i realli wan it to end but well at the rate dat the relationship was going anione wud have said the same ting...tried to save it but its of no use cos its onli one-sided...pointless...so yeahh...its over...


Secondly...skool is starting real sooooon...oh gosh!!!but not to worry cos i have shima wif me...hahahahah...yes!she got into the same course as me!!!i was like DAMN happy lah....skool is sure gonna be a bast wif her around...hahahaha...realli looking forward to it...cant wait to go to skool...i tink i gotta start preparing skool stuff ASAP...havent buy bag n shoes...haiz...and im like broke alreadi lah now...hahahah...


Thirdly...im stil werking...dunno till wen also...so far so good lah...getting along wif everibodi at werk...stock take is gonna be next wk on the 10/4...damn it...balik lambat lagi...aiyo!!!hahahah...its ok lah eh...enjoy sebelum skolah start...lol...

well i tink dats all dats happening currently...will sure to update more alryte!