i wanna erase everi single memories of you.

but why wont you let me?

i wish that you would just leave for good

and let me forget you.

i wanna have a fresh new start.

and i've learnt not to trust easily.

it should onli be given if you gain it.

kau membuat ku berantakan
kau membuat ku tak karuan
kau membuat ku tak berdaya
kau menolak ku
acuh kan diriku

bagaimana caranya utk
meruntuhkan keras nya hati mu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seperti yg kau inginkan

chorus:
kau hancurkan aku dgn sikapmu
tak sadarkah kau telah menyakitiku
lelah hati ini meyakinkan mu.
cinta ini membunuhku...

bagaimana caranya utk
meruntuhkan kerasnya hati mu
ku sadari ku tak sempurna
ku tak seprti yg kau inginkan.

chorus2x

lelah hati ini meyakinkanmu
cinta ini membunuhku...

noting much happen over the weekends...my parents went to indonesia which means i have to stay alone at home...haiz...noting to be surprised about...im used to it...weekends are so damn boring for me lah...had no where to go n no one to go out wif...and plus IM BROKE...so yeahh...stayed at home...did some cleaning up...den slack...as usual...

as usual we didnt meet...we had to call it off cos his uncle passed away...well its expected...i knew we wud cancel it out aniwae...he didnt inform me though...he only informed me after i called him for the hunredth times...i was pissed off...but come to tink again...its not worth fighting...im jus too tired to do so...i seriously felt dat WE are drifting further n further.u no longer find a time to talk to me animore...i understand dat there's too many tings happening ryte now...i totally understand... but u dun even sound interested to talk to me at all...u always wanna hung up saying u'll call but u never did...

if ur telling me ur tired, wat did u do till ur dat exhausted to even talk to me???its not like ur werking or someting...every time i called ur always sleeping...i never complaint to u saying im tired even though i've had a very long day in skool...i didnt go to bed very early even though im tired after werk...i've always find a time to talk to u...even if it has to be in the middle of the nite after u finish watching soccer...i stayed up all nite jus to wait for ur call even though i have skool in the morning...i jus dun understand why u cant do the same for me...am i asking too much?

u might be wondering ryte now why im taking a break for US...i jus feel dat both of us need to tink again of wat we want from each other...i need the time alone so dat i can reflect on wat has been happening...and i hope dat during dis time u'll realise wat u realli want from me.if u tink dat u'll do fine without me in ur life den im fine wif dat.i'll move on.but im pretty shock at the fact dat u agreed to having dis break...cos usualli u dont...it kind of make me tink dat u realli dun want me animore...well i dunno...its jus a matter of time perhaps...we'll see wat happens.

im damn tired...my whole body is aching and my ears are hurting.... feeling down and i dunno why...it jus sucks aint it???and yes im missing him... havent talked to him the whole day and im very restless...he's not picking up my calls and im pissed off...call me please!!!!i wanna hear ur voice!i miss euuu soooo damn bloody much!

pass few days had been kind of busy for me...we dun realli talked much...jus talked for a few minutes and either one of us had to go...i miss talking to eu for hours...stayed up till 0400 in the morning yesterday jus to talk to him... i hate it wen im like dis...i dun wanna be too dependent on u... it'll ruin me!!!

ARGHHHHH!!!!

well its been sometime since i blog...kind of busy...wif...i dunno wat...

hmmm...lets start wif wat happen today...had skool at 8...attend accounting class but cabot OFA hahaha...meaning i went home at 10 wif darling shima...and guess where we go after dat...we went SWIMMING!!!hahahah...gile ryte...it was realli unplanned lah...lol...very very fun...and now my body is like some part fair and some part dark....like zebra crossing seh...swim for bout an hour den decide to wash up...head to KFC to eat our lunch den head home...it was realli tiring...had to werk in the evening some more...reached home at around 1415 changed and took a nap till 1630...woke up get ready for werk and went off...felt soooo shagged...(i noe its a wrong werd to use) werk was fine...noting much except dat the stupid malay LPO came and i was like seeing ghost wen i saw him...rush inside to change into my shoe..hahah...takot seh...

was at the airport on monday...it was vesak day...i was suppose to be werking but i asked some1 else to replace me cos i was plain lazy to werk...was discussing bout the role play thingy wif my mates...shima wasnt there though...left airport at around 2+ den head to tamp to eat lunch at mac wif them...hahahah....realli had a great time wif them...never fail to make my day...met yaya at around 5.

head home at 8,wash up,talked to didi for a while den ZZZZZ....

well i guess dats all for the time being...will update soon.

jus now on the way back home from skool...someting very funny happen...lol...

me and shima saw dis dog...BESAR NAK MAMPOS...DAH MCM ORG!!!omg...it was damn huge lah...i tink i can literally ride on its back....den there's a grp of nursing students in front of us...they approach the dog and the dog was like kissing them....EEEEWWWWWW!hahahaha...shima and i dah takot...so we walked on the slope near the path...and there's dis two malay guys behind us...one of them took picture of the dog...and the other one followed us walk on the slope...KENTAL!harap je lelaki...tapi penakot...hahahah...so yeahh after we passed the dog i tot dats it lah...we walked towards the traffic light...while waiting for it to turn green,one of the malay guy was kind of teasing us..."ohhh...tau takot tgk anjing..."me and shima was like...WTF???nak ckp org...die pun takot...STUPID!but den we jus smile and walk away...sooooo the kecoh...

hmmmm...2morrow got BFD test...and i havent studied...great...den i got percussion at 2...rush home,wash up and off to werk...oh god...its gonna be a tiring day...hope i can make ot on time to werk...luckily im nt werking on sat n sun...but i'll be werking on monday though...public holiday...so yeahh...guess dats all i have fro now..

well i kinda had a tiff wif him yesterday...hahaha...it was a very stupid one...i called it mood swing...PERIOD!well yeah...kind of telling him dat if he's tired of me den i'll jus let him leave...hahaha...childish ryte...i noe...den he was like "y u doin dis to me???u noe i cant leave without u...y u wanna leave me?"dis kind of tings lah...den he finally gave up n said its ok if u dun wanna talk to me but i still wanna be wif u no matter wat!!!

hahahah...well dat realli cool me down...hahaha...he's such a swiheart...but i jus dunno wether we shud be 2gether...i jus dun wanna take risk...dats all...he've realli changed a lot...more patient wif me...rarely gets angry...tried understanding me and all...well im glad he changed...good fer him....but...i dunno...shud i???

check dis video out ppl!dis kid is like very cool lah...he got a nice voice...hahahaha...my new love...SEPTIAN!!!

Tings I Need To Do By Dis WEEKEND!!!

1. FINISH THE FREAKING POWERPOINT PROJECT!

2. CLEAN UP MY ROOM

3. DO SOME CATCHING UP WIF SOME FRENS.

4. SAVE SOME MONEY

5. TRY TO GET BACK TO MY OLD BEHAVIOUR.

if u have to leave
i wish dat u wud jus leave
cos ur presence still lingers here and it wont leave me alone
dis wounds dont seems to heal
dis pain is jus to real
there's jus tooo much dat time cannot erase...


no matter how much i've tried to get rid of the memories i've had wif u,
those moments dat i spent wif u...
they jus wont go away...and i hate it...
i hate to tink about u...
u jus dunno how much i realli treasure those times...
i've tried hating u...but i failed to do so....
cos its impossible to hate someone dat u love...
do u noe dat???u dont do u....
i cant lie to myself...

surprise at the fact dat i dun feel sleepy in skool despite the fact dat i slept at 0130 last nite...was talking on the phone wif a fren of mine....hahaha...well basically 2day noting much happen in skool...onli dat i skipped my lifeskill lessons...hahaaha...it was like 2 and a half hours of lesson lah...2morrow mesti miss annie koh bising seh...hahahaha...lol...but its ok i guess...

well didi did a bit of confession...which realli shocked me...

didi:u tau tak???

me:tau ape??

didi:kenape lately i slalu bgn siang...

me:ntah...asal?

didi:i risau tau kalau u gi skolah...

me:huh???asal eh?

didi:i pun tak tau ah...mcm restless smcm gitu...especialli kalau u tak col i...

hahaha...i was like WTH!!!he finally confessed...no wonder he'll get all cranky if i were to come home late...kind of shock lah...and touching at the same time...hahaha...

im tired!jus came back from werk...2day has been a very busy day for me...was rushing to get to my destination...rush to bugis den back to skool again.after dat rush home,bath den rush to werk...PHEW!!!wat a day...THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY!i'll make sure i spend dis wk end stress free...i KNOW!i shall go shopping...hahahaha...dats wat i called retail therapy....ok...im getting insane...ignore me aite!