aku ingin engkau ada disini
menemani ku saat sepi.
berat hidup ini tanpa dirimu
ku hanya mencintaimu kamu
ku hanya memiliki kamu.
aku rindu setengah mati kepadamu
sungguh ku ingin kau tahu
ku tak bisa hidup tanpa mu.
aku rindu...

2morrow is alreadi 1st of syawal.see how time flies...aniwae i wanna wish all muslims SELAMAT HARI RAYA AILDILFITRI.MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIZIN.

i must admit dis ramadhan will be one dat i'll never forget.its been tough on me.mum was admitted to the hospital last wk.i was realli scared.i cant imagine aniting happening to her.den im busy werking full shift.im extremely exhausted and my legs are aching.kinda painful to walk.i totally got no time for myself.maybe dats the reason why i jus breakdown into tears wen i met kak sara.i couldnt hold back animore.im jus truly exhausted physically n emotionally.thanks kak for being there.i realli need that.and thanks for ur advise.

raye's preparation on the other hand is doing good.bought curtains.im happy to see the new curtains.dunno why.at least sumting to cheer me up.bought my baju kurong.green AGAIN.haha.very simple indeed.wasnt planning to buy actually.gonna do a final cleanup later.dats it.thanks to all who give the kuehs.realli appreaciate it.

aniwae will go back to werk on tuesday.FULL SHIFT AGAIN.haha.takpe2.next month confirm kaye...LOL.and yes...i'll only get my pay next month.-.- pelan2 kayuh ah...hahaha...

holidays is here and im so damn happy bout it.exams are over.thank god.now is the time to get back to werk.i have to keep myself realli2 busy now.i need to.werk has been realli great.the crazy colleagues wif all the laughing and joking.though its been tiring,but i guess its worth it.

Syawal is coming and soon Ramadhan will leave us.its so fast aint it?down to the last 9 days.i jus cant wait.heehee~i wont be werking until the 3rd of hari raya.so i need to clear my visitings before i get back to werk i guess.

im sorry but i feel dat i can no longer take everiting in silence.wat happen is jus too much for me to keep it to myself.dat is why i asked.but instead of answering my question u replied wif another question.dat is wat making me realli angry.i ought to noe the truth and ur not gonna explain urself den dis isnt gonna go aniwhere.

i gt a job and 2morrow is my first day!im so happy...but on the other hand...my exams is jus next wk.7,8 & 9 sept...im soooooo stressed up.on the brighter side...i have my holidays waiting for me!which means exams isnt so bad after all...out of 3 modules,i've only completed costing revision...the other 2 modules dun ask.im gonna struggle like hell i tell u.

"Can i share something with u?"

"What is it?"

"Im attached now"

"Ouh..gd for u.. im happy for u.."

When i said i was happy for him, the truth was im not..It took him 2yrs to get over the previous rship before mebut it only took him less than 6 mths to get over me.. i didnt mean as much to him...

dat is an extract from a girl's blog who used to be wif nik.haha...i was laughing like hell wen i read dis a few days back.so ya...dat explains everiting to me.and im happy to find out the truth.realli...

dis Ramadhan has been great except the part where i gt sick.other den dat its been a good one.i havent decide on the colour for dis yr's baju.dun feel like buying actualli...see how lah.

i cant wait to break fast wif u:)

oh well my blog is getting dusty...hehe...havent been updating for such a loooooooooooooooooong time...i know...i jus dunno wat to blog about...been busy wif skool not to mention the exhaustion it brings...exams is jus 3 wks away and im like soooooo doomed!i jus cant seem to get aniting inside my brain...hmmm...guess i'll be doing last minute revision den...

its funny wen i realised how u have so many tings to say to ur friends.the story jus goes on and on.u'll never find urself having noting to say at all...its a different story wen ur wif ur special someone...silence seems to follow most of the time...u have so many tings to say and u want to share it wif them but den again u tot dat they'll not be interested wif ur story or they'll be too tired to listen.even talking on the phone seems to be a chore sumtimes.funny aint it?

wen everiting comes down to noting?

well ok i noe i havent been updating for so long...i realli dunno wat to blog about actualli...a lot of tings happen...erm mayb i shud say a few perhaps...so ya...im 19 alreadi...wud like to thank those who wished and celebrated my b'dae wif me....much appreciated.love u all:)nonetheless i do feel dissapointed but den again i shall not blog about it ya...

erm...kind of have a small gathering wif the sec skool frens...not all turn up though...last min changes and some ppl couldnt come for various reasons...so its down to me,haiqal,dary n farhan...it was still ok...eat and kind of catch up on things dat we've been missing...

hmmm...wat else.oh ya...tour wif annie koh is over.so we're now left wif the final report.phew!the tour was fun!despite waking up very early...i did my presentation on the peranakan museum wif shima...haha...and the guy who werk at the museum is so hot lah!after museum we had lunch at kim choo.the food was not bad...oh ya and annie koh treated us durian puffs...its nice.

left wif like 1 wk plus till skool reopens...i havent been studying at all...and im very worried cos CA is like 1 wk after skool reopens.ALL 3 MODULES sumore...hmmm...some changes happen but im not gonna reveal aniting jus yet...so ya...jus be patient ok...

Note to self before i turn 19

1. i shall be more selfish.i shall tink of myself more.

2. i shall not trust ppl easily.

3. i shall stop being naive.

4. i shall be more outspoken and friendly.

5. i shall learn how to speak up instead of keeping to myself.

6. i shall make lots n lots of frens regardless of gender and not getting into r'ship in the mean time.

7. find a new job as soon as possible.

A woman can fake an orgasm but a man can fake a whole relastionship...

how true...

HAPPY 19TH B'DAE DARLING!!!

may all ur wish come true and may u achieve all the sucess that u want.

1 yr older means u've gotta be more wiser in making decisions,

more matured in facing the problems dats gonna come,

be less naughtier and...

MORE REASON FOR ME TO CALL U KAKAK SHIMA!!!

HAHAHAH...

so wen is it gonna be?

all my life i prefer sumone like u
and i tink dat i finally found u
and i hope u feel the same way too...
i promise to never fall in love wif a stranger
ur all im tinking of...
i realli love u...
u turn my life around
u pick me up wen i was down...

counting down to the day i get older...

as those water droplets fell to the ground
curled up in the corner of my room
i reminisce on the tings i've done
u captured a big part of the story i've yet to tell the world
all the amazing tings dat have happened
not forgetting those painful moments too

denial can be such a sweet misery
as i pretend dat tings were fine wen noting realli is
i held on to dis imaginary world u've created
or shud i say dis lie?
u realli got away by using ur charm on me

tell me how u'd done dat?
making me believing all the lies u've said
keeping me in the dark n doing tings behind me
without me even being suspicious at all
very brilliant indeed

wen i finally realised someting was amiss
u've gone too far and left me hanging
leaving me to discover everiting by myself
and everitime i did it jus kept pulling me down
not knowing how to react animore seeing wat u've been up to

even wen ur here now it feels like ur miles away from me
i cant find the words to say or aniting to do to make tings ryte
why wont u quit playing dis game?
cos i guess we're better off going our separate ways

1.You are a very serious person. You tend to be quiet and well behaved, and you don't have a great deal of self-confidence. You prefer to be alone rather than with friends and that could make you a little less interesting to certain types of guys. You are very attractive in an individual kind of way, and this means it can take people a little while to get to like you.

2.You don't really care about other people's feelings. You do things the way you want and usually think only about yourself. You are easy-going and love to have fun, but you can be irresponsible as well. You are not keen on serious discussions because they can make you remember that life isn't always about parties.

3.You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.

4.Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?

5.Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

OMG...im speechless.hahah!

i love going to skool.haha!!!skool is like very fun lor nowadays.everiday also laugh.thanks to my 2 best buddies.SHIMA & AYU.both of u never fail to make my day everiday!i love the both of u ok...hmmm...monday got ACCOUNTING CA.im like so scared lor.i wanna score gd grades for dis paper.i'm aiming for A but i noe i'll get at least B.better den C ryte...i've gotten B for my costing...i'm rather happy wif my results but im capable of better results.my B'DAE IS COMING!!!hahah...on one side im excited and on the other side im not...we'll jus see wat happens...im contented wif wat i have ryte now.im so lucky dat there's so many people who care about me.i realli thank those people.i love u all too ok.

all dat has been happening makes me afraid of r'ship.i realised its kind of chasing after me and i keep running away from it.haha.im realli scared of it now and im not joking.u'll see my expression change once u mention about feelings.dun talk about love and all lah!i dun want r'ship.i jus wanna make more frens...lots and lots of them.dun come n complicate my life can???

my leg's injured.my knee to be exact.the muscle at the knee locked den i fell down during S&W.so pain like fuck.i was crying the whole day in my room becos the pain was soooo unbearable.and its difficult to sleep.yes i can walk.but it's gonna be painful.its jus getting worst.jus pray dat noting tear or any of dat sort ok...

yes i miss u.i missed waking up next to u...i miss ur laughter.

i miss everi single ting about u...

there's so many tings on my wishlist...hahah...

but there's only 1 thing dat i noe i wont get...well lets not talk about dat.

i jus need to stop hoping animore...hoping is for helpless people...

im not helpless...im a strong girl....yes i am.mum said so...

its funny how she can noe so much even without me telling her.

skool's doing good.i dun seems to have any problems so far...

which is a good sign for me...i jus need to keep encouraging myself to go to skool.

haha...ok dis post is soooooooooo pathetic i noe.

I SOOOOOOOO LOVE DIS SONG!

k i dunno why but i realli like dis song...

yes i've said dat i alreadi hate u.i still do.dat will not change.
its jus dat...bout how i wasted 1 yr and few months jus like dat.
i cud have been wif sumone better perhaps.i did meet the better ones.
much much better...

but i jus cant deny the fact dat i miss those times.yes i still do.
especialli those on a few occasions where i woke up in the morning next to u.
laughing to ur jokes,watching tv 2gether,have dinner 2gether...
oh well...its jus sumtings i cudnt bear to forget and let go.
"there's jus too much dat time CANNOT erase"
i'll keep those memories in one special corner in my heart.

oh yes the weather IS HORRIBLE!!!
its so freaking humid.i perspire a lot sia while walking to skool.
and i hate the sticky feeling u see...
oh yes skool wasnt dat bad after all.i kind of like going to skool.
the only ting to keep me busy.

went out last friday and i tink i had a little too much of the alcohol.
my head was alreadi very heavy but i continued drinking.
BUT i wasnt drunk.jus dat i drink slightly over my limit.
all i wanted was jus to drown my sorrows for a while.
and i tink the excess alcohol had caused my stomach some disorder.
i vomitted a couple of times and i feel VERY SICK.
i hate dat feeling.ok i LEARN MY LESSON.

dearest nik,

thanks for everiting.i realli treasure all the moments i spent wif u.

all the luffter,jokes,love,arguements even the hurt u've caused me i realli appreciate it.

i'm grateful to noe u cos u've taught so many tings dat i wont learn from anione else.

u taught me how not to trust other people so easily,taught me dat not all love is true and forever,

taught me how to endure so much pain and lastly u taught me how to let go of someone whom u realli loved.

i tink u noe how much i realli loved u.i've never loved a guy so much like i love u.

i've sacrificed like i've never sacrificed before becos of u.

i also discover my strength thru u.ur such a wonderful person.i cant deny dat fact.

i finally got to noe dat the reason our r'ship didnt work out isnt becos of me.

its not becos i aint good enuff for u.but the problem lies in u.

i discovered dat i wasnt the only one going thru dis shit.

u treated ur other lovers the same.in fact my assumptions was right after all.

u did cheat on me.im not angry wif those girls.im angry wif u.

i jus wanna remind u again dat wat goes around comes around.

and sumday wen u finally met someone u realli love dat person is gonna put u thru the exact same shit dat u've made me and a few others go thru.

i've gotten enuff proofs dat i've been looking for.enuff to make me hate u so much.im happy dat i can finally move on.mayb i cant go back to where i used to come from.but i'll be stronger and wiser den wat i used to be.yes im deeply hurt but im sumhow contented wif wat i have now.i have my family who is always by my side.i have my studies to look forward to.im gonna get a new job soon.and i have my friends who's always there to cheer me up and keep me company.wat more can i ask for.

i dun need ur love or any man's love to be happy cos i noe people around me can love me better...

this shall be my last farewell to u.i'll always pray for ur success and hope u'll be happy wif whoever ur wif now.

i jus hope i wont ever have to see u again in future.

thank you for everiting...

skool's started...time table so far ok lah hor...
out of 5 days,3 of the days i finish skool early...

modules wise...all 3 modules gt LECTURE!!!

like shit lor...costing n accounting both gt 2 lecture in 1 wk...

i so hate lecture!its so difficult to concentrate bcos the lecturer

is so boring...make me wanna ZzZzZzZ...

well noting much changed lah...everiting's pretty much the same...
currently jobless and looking for a new job...
rotting at home most of the time...

i become gd gerl alreadi hor...never go out at nite during skool days...

and i tink my insomnia is finally cured...hahhahaha...

i miss my frens...ESPECIALLY sheena..

so many weird tings happen yesterday and i almost cried...
i shall not say wat happen...but im scared to death lah...

he look so kental wif specs!!!LOL...

OMG!!!

my fav!~