well yes i finally changed my blog skin...its like very2 simple to the max...jus the way i want it to be...hahahah...kk...despite the fact dat exams is jus around the corner,i cant help but skipping my classes...hahahah...i noe...suicidal...jus exhausted lah...dunno why...and no...im not stressed up at the fact dat exams are coming.jus a tiny winy bit worried dats all...thank god im not debarred k...hahahah...i was dead scared k.i swear...

moving on was never easy...yes i admit.cos it requires u to forget those sweet memories which ur jus reluctant to let go...but for now...im moving on pretty well i guess...so far so good...but of course...i cant help tinking bout him...no no...i dun want him back.jus dat i havent been able to stop tinking bout him yet...he'd played quite a big role in one part of my life.so its not dat easy to jus get him out from my mind...jus the tots of him makes me annoyed,pissed,angry,dissapointed and hurt.haiz...

was tinking wat are my goals in life jus now...currently im skooling...it'll be done by next yr.if possible i want to further my studies but perhaps i'll jus find a job,a stable one hopefully den i'll jus upgrade myself slowly.reason being...i have responsilities dat i have to take care of...i jus cant neglect my responsibilities and be selfish jus to fulfill wat i desire...i have my mum to take care of...she's realli counting on me.and i dun wanna dissapoint her.even though deep down i noe i have in some ways...next on the list is i wanna settle down...hahahah...dis is funny!know why?becos i told my mum i dun wanna get married.i jus wanna have kids.thru adoptions.i dun mind...but i jus cant picturing myself spending the rest of my life wif a man.reason being i dun trust men...hahahah...yes call it pathetic.i dun care...i jus dun trust them...but den...i have to.cos im required to...yes it'll be nice to settle down and have kids of my own.haiz...kk...enuff of dis daydreaming...will update soon okies...

currently in skool everiting's bout exams,exams & exams...revision here and there...pretty hectic i shud say.and i swear all of dis is draining all of my energy.still got like 4 more weeks to skool...and less den a month to exams...preparations...hmmm...ok lah...not so bad i suppose...been sleeping in the evening lately...i dunno wats making me so exhausted.and...i've been drinking redbull on a regular basis...i noe its not good for health but i jus cant help it ok.i jus need someting to give me some extra energy.heehee~i promise i'll try to cut down...

recently i got to noe about dis gerl who was my senior back in my secondary school days whom passed away...i was very shocked.it came out in the news paper...my condolesence to her family and hope dat they stay strong...Allah loves her more.though we dun realli noe each other i hope dat u'll rest in peace.amin...

met sheena few days back,and gerl i realli miss u sooooo much ok...had a long catching up session wif her...thanks for coming over baby...and thanks for listening...we shall meet up soon ok darling!love u!!!

on the brighter note,i'll be meeting nik dis sunday.hopefully he dont cancel it.oh yes i realli do miss him so much:)there's so many tings dat needs to be clarified...we'll jus see wat happens aite...will update again soon...

walau ada yg lain tlah hadir hatimu yg terpilih~

i reached my point of exhaustion wen i jus broke down into tears and cried realli hard.its been so long since i cried like dat.it was so frusterating.i asked u a simple question,its a YES or NO question and u cant even answer my question.or shud i say u REFUSED to answer my question reason being dat my question is FREAKING u out.which part of my question freaked u out???well u noe wat...if u hadnt kept me in the dark for all dis while,i wudnt have to ask u dis question.i jus wanna noe were there/is there someone else in ur heart?dats all...what is it dat is freaking u out???im sick and tired of playing dis game u noe...so why wont u jus cooperate wif me and let us end dis game?ur biggest problem is u like to run away from problems.tinking dat by doing so dis problems will dissapear without u having to face it.but ur wrong...the problem onli gets BIGGER AND MORE COMPLICATED each time u run away from it.stop living in denial and start living in reality baby...well mayb u jus dun realise jus how much i care and jus how much i love u...u dunno how much i realli wanted tings to werk out between us.im not asking for a fairy tale.but i dun want dis either...i jus dun wanna give up on dis jus yet.im willing to wait...but there ought to be a stop to dis waiting ryte...i jus need u to tell me the truth about everiting...onli dat...im prepared to let u go...but first i need u to be honest...

been bz with skool and werk...barely had time to spend wif dearest mummy...got so many catching ups to do in studies...im struggling in IAC and its like CA2 is coming...thankfully i kinda catch up...did my assignments...practiced...clarified my doubts wif my lecturer...so...i guess im gonna be fine...project is yet to be done...presentation is like in 1 or 2 wks time...oh god...im like seriously exhausted and i still need to go thru like 6-8 more wks of skool...plus not forgetting exams...i better buck up man...i've had more den enuff of slacking alreadi...well lets talk bout the super long weekends dat jus ended...hmmm...saturday was spent werking den sunday was out at ECP wif my frens...monday jus slack around wif ayu and i forgot wat i did on tuesday...noting interesting though...lets talk about myself now...hmmm...I'm tired of pretending to be fine...Im tired of smiling wen actualli all i wanna do is cry realli hard...I cant pretend to be ok wen actualli im tearing apart...mentally exhausted and down currently...and the only possible way to lift up my spirits is wen i actualli get to see u.even if it have to be from far...i noe i cant carry on like dis.im aware dat my behaviour is gonna ruin my life.BUT I CANT HELP FEELING DIS WAY!

i have to start attending my 8 am class more regularly...i have to stop being lazy...OMG!and i have to sleep early!!!aniwae...skool wise...hmmm...so far so good i guess.except for the part dat i've not been attending IAC regularly and the fact dat there's so many tings i have to catch up wif...IAC CA2 is coming soon...im sooooo DOOMED!LLA presentation is due after chinese new yr...haiz.

on the other hand,situation at work worsen.sunita is getting on my nerves lately...she's been asking wether or not im still interested in working there.WTF!!!i mean if im not interested den i wud have quit isnt it?i mean i dun like the way she asked me dat question.and it like she gets hurt easily.jus bcos i informed my colleague dat im on mc instead of informing her.she's being selfish and so unconsiderate towards others...why the hell would others wanna spare a thought for her ryte...JUS ONE MORE TIME IF SHE DARE TO PROVOKE ME I SWEAR IM GONNA QUIT AND I MAKE SURE SHE'LL REGRET IT!

i've been locking myself up at home.not going aniwhere.not becos i wanted to.im forcing myself to stay at home.basically becos skool alreadi started.i dun enjoy locking myself up u see.in fact i feel mentalli tortured.its like home is jus the last place i wanna be.i jus wanna go out.even if it means jus sitting at the void deck.i dun mind.no there's no war going on at home.everiting's fine.the problem is wif me.im fighting a war against my feelings.its been so difficult to control my emotions.i jus broke down into tears wen im alone.i miss u so much.if only u knew.i love u more den i ever tot i would.and it jus hurts even more to see u putting up wif ur ego.ur actions and ur words...i noe its not u.its ur fucking ego.wats the fucking point u apologised for hurting me too much???tell me?and why do u have to back off?why???why apologised and hurt again?i've been keeping everi single tings to myself for almost 1 yr now.my anger,my love,my jealousy,my sorrows...EVERITING!and u dont even seems to care!i've never wanted someting so badly the way i wanted u...someone said i deserve better...but it seems dat the better ones doesnt seems to come...

i was in skool wen suddenly i was reminded of my dad.kind of had a quick flashback of the times i spent wif him wen i was little.i remembered dat he ever dressed me in a boy's oufit.and moreover at dat time i always keep short hair for some reasons...he rarely buy me dresses.hahaha...den he wud carry me and let me sit on his shoulder.i miss those times.i dun have to tink bout aniting.all i do is to go to skool and study.i dun have to worry bout not having money to buy stuff,i dun need to tink bout going to work and tings like dat.dad always said dat going to skool is very important.so dat i will have a bright future and i wont end up like him.

oh dear...if only i can turn back time...i miss being small kids.i miss being carried and pampered by my dad.i miss my grandpa n grandma.i wished there's no such tings as death.cos death has taken away my loved ones.my dad,my grandpa and my grandma.i miss them so much.i wish i could run to them and cry as much as i could in their arms.

had to werk during christmas.it was ok lah...noting much happen...had to werk the next day also.knock off from werk around 10.head home to change den off to arab street for sheesha.which was the plan initialli...but the place was soooooo packed dat we end up drinking teh tarik...hahahah...it was fun though...lots of laughter and jokes being passed around...we decide to make a move from there cos its like almost 2am and the shop is gonna close soon...so we sat at kallang river...chatted till its 6+ den i decided to head home first cos its adli's b'dae party on dat saturday.was damn exhausted and mum is not letting me rest.the best ting is i spent 5 hours in the kitchen to make roti kirai.lots of familiar faces seen coming but i jus couldnt be bothered to even say hi to them.i was realli worn off.the party ended at around 10 i tink.cant remember.i havent even bought adli's present lah.omg...

den sunday was spent rotting at home.and im sick...had blocked nose and cough which is very irritating lor.wanted to get out from home for a while but no one was free.so i had no choice but to be stucked at home...

today was spent wif dear mummy...accompanied her to the doctor to make some surgery appointment.went to sportlink...bought a PINK nike slipper...hahahah.my mum nearly got a heart attack wen she saw the price...LOL.but at least she said its nice.*toodles*...from bedok we went to bugis.i bought 2 skirts and 2 dresses...heehee:)im one happy girl ya noe!so basically today is shopping day...if ur wondering why im spending soooo much its bcos firstly i've gotten my pay...and second ting is i GET BONUS LAH SEH!!!muahahahahah...though its not dat much...but i guess its enuff to fulfill some of my desires...heehee:)so ya...basically dats about it ah.will update more soon okies lovely people.i promise:)