yes i've said dat i alreadi hate u.i still do.dat will not change.
its jus dat...bout how i wasted 1 yr and few months jus like dat.
i cud have been wif sumone better perhaps.i did meet the better ones.
much much better...

but i jus cant deny the fact dat i miss those times.yes i still do.
especialli those on a few occasions where i woke up in the morning next to u.
laughing to ur jokes,watching tv 2gether,have dinner 2gether...
oh well...its jus sumtings i cudnt bear to forget and let go.
"there's jus too much dat time CANNOT erase"
i'll keep those memories in one special corner in my heart.

oh yes the weather IS HORRIBLE!!!
its so freaking humid.i perspire a lot sia while walking to skool.
and i hate the sticky feeling u see...
oh yes skool wasnt dat bad after all.i kind of like going to skool.
the only ting to keep me busy.

went out last friday and i tink i had a little too much of the alcohol.
my head was alreadi very heavy but i continued drinking.
BUT i wasnt drunk.jus dat i drink slightly over my limit.
all i wanted was jus to drown my sorrows for a while.
and i tink the excess alcohol had caused my stomach some disorder.
i vomitted a couple of times and i feel VERY SICK.
i hate dat feeling.ok i LEARN MY LESSON.

dearest nik,

thanks for everiting.i realli treasure all the moments i spent wif u.

all the luffter,jokes,love,arguements even the hurt u've caused me i realli appreciate it.

i'm grateful to noe u cos u've taught so many tings dat i wont learn from anione else.

u taught me how not to trust other people so easily,taught me dat not all love is true and forever,

taught me how to endure so much pain and lastly u taught me how to let go of someone whom u realli loved.

i tink u noe how much i realli loved u.i've never loved a guy so much like i love u.

i've sacrificed like i've never sacrificed before becos of u.

i also discover my strength thru u.ur such a wonderful person.i cant deny dat fact.

i finally got to noe dat the reason our r'ship didnt work out isnt becos of me.

its not becos i aint good enuff for u.but the problem lies in u.

i discovered dat i wasnt the only one going thru dis shit.

u treated ur other lovers the same.in fact my assumptions was right after all.

u did cheat on me.im not angry wif those girls.im angry wif u.

i jus wanna remind u again dat wat goes around comes around.

and sumday wen u finally met someone u realli love dat person is gonna put u thru the exact same shit dat u've made me and a few others go thru.

i've gotten enuff proofs dat i've been looking for.enuff to make me hate u so much.im happy dat i can finally move on.mayb i cant go back to where i used to come from.but i'll be stronger and wiser den wat i used to be.yes im deeply hurt but im sumhow contented wif wat i have now.i have my family who is always by my side.i have my studies to look forward to.im gonna get a new job soon.and i have my friends who's always there to cheer me up and keep me company.wat more can i ask for.

i dun need ur love or any man's love to be happy cos i noe people around me can love me better...

this shall be my last farewell to u.i'll always pray for ur success and hope u'll be happy wif whoever ur wif now.

i jus hope i wont ever have to see u again in future.

thank you for everiting...

skool's started...time table so far ok lah hor...
out of 5 days,3 of the days i finish skool early...

modules wise...all 3 modules gt LECTURE!!!

like shit lor...costing n accounting both gt 2 lecture in 1 wk...

i so hate lecture!its so difficult to concentrate bcos the lecturer

is so boring...make me wanna ZzZzZzZ...

well noting much changed lah...everiting's pretty much the same...
currently jobless and looking for a new job...
rotting at home most of the time...

i become gd gerl alreadi hor...never go out at nite during skool days...

and i tink my insomnia is finally cured...hahhahaha...

i miss my frens...ESPECIALLY sheena..

so many weird tings happen yesterday and i almost cried...
i shall not say wat happen...but im scared to death lah...

he look so kental wif specs!!!LOL...

OMG!!!

my fav!~

unspoken werds...

been 5 months...since i last met you.and still counting.
dis is the longest so far ever since 230108...
i've been and still am carrying these heavy feelings dat i jus cant describe.
its a mixture of hurt+pain+betrayed+heartache...
the feeling is terrible.trust me.
i want to cry to make myself feel better.
but it seems dat even these eyes have refused to cry animore.
maybe it became tired of crying.jus like i am.
tired of playing dis game u've pulled me in.

i wud have bear the pain.but till wen?
i wud have waited.and i still am waiting.
im hurting.the pain never go away.the wounds refused to heal.
i did try pulling myself together.
but no matter how hard i tried,i still see myself falling apart.
so wat am i to do?
its not dat i didnt wanna end dis.but u refuse to let it end.
is it my fault?
perhaps it is.because i love u too much.
so what happens now?
only u have the answer.and im still waiting for ur answer up till this moment.

were there werds that remains unspoken by you wen we last met.
or perhaps u expect me to understand those silence u gave me.
silence dat i shud assume dat marked the end of everiting.
cos u refused to say aniting.wen u alreadi said ur gonna make a confession.
so was the silence ur term of confession?
how was i to know.wen i tot silence was ur way of loving me.
u never told me dat ur silence has changed its meaning.
u shud have told me dat ur silence means the end of everiting.
so i wud stop waiting.and these wounds wud start healing.
and my story wud finally have an ending.
so i can live happily never after...

results is out alreadi...well i wont say i did badly.i did ok but the 1st sem results were much better...as u can see my GPA is 2.971.i scored B for banking&finance and also for intermediate accounting.and C for my business communication.i realli tot i wud score an A for BFS and C for IAC.oh well nvm...2 B and 1 C will do jus fine i guess...aniwae its over...hahaha...on a sweeter note,my bro congratulate me!!!hahaha...he said keep up the gd werk...he said dat becos he dunno about my 1st sem results...if not i cud have gotten a long lecture from him.hahaha...

oh yes i saw someone who looked exactly like my late dad few days back.he looked as if my dad have a twin bro...from the way he dressed,facial expression,skin tone,hair style...simply everiting...i was very shocked.i stared at him and he also stared at me back...hahaha...oh yes...i do miss my dad sooo much...

skool's starting very soon...and believe it or not im kind of excited for skool:)